life is not fair

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This is how it works. This is why The Right University is so important. It’s not about the degree. It’s about this entire life path, this entire system of manipulation and prestige, to make sure the children of the uber wealthy become the next generation of the uber wealthy, that they get exclusive opportunities and exclusive consideration.

Every single step along this journey, there are other people clawing for the same opportunities but not getting them. Those people  didn’t come from the right parents, or graduate from the right schools. Their applications weren’t as good, because they wrote them themselves, and most people (sorry, y’all, but it’s true) do not write nearly as well as they think they do. Their bios weren’t as perfect, because they didn’t have executive coaches and mentors to help them establish a fine-tuned personal brand. Their ideas weren’t as interesting, because they were working with their own stupid ideas and not the ideas of professional idea-havers.

THE WHOLE SYSTEM IS RIGGED, YOU GUYS. It is rigged. Maybe you went from lower class to middle class, or lower middle class to upper middle class, and you feel like FUCKIN A I LOVE AMERICA AND BALD EAGLES AND MERITOCRACY, but it’s all an illusion. Even if you financially make your way into the nouveau riche layer of the upper class, you still won’t be one of the chosen unless you manage to hit some kind of insanely unlikely lottery (Barack and Michelle Obama come to mind), but you’re honestly more likely to get bit by a radioactive spider and start shooting web-shit from your wrists. The upper class is a closed system, thanks but no thanks, no vacancies, don’t let the door hit ya.

I’ve taken jobs from 40-something year old men who handed the telephone to their daddies to talk about how to craft the right impression in their adult child’s “personal” letter. I’ve worked with executive coaches to hash out what jokes to write in order to best illustrate the “good humor” part of someone’s Personal Brand (TM) in a “personal” essay. THAT is how this works.

There’s no such thing as meritocracy.